Let’s take what we’ve talked about and create a first aid kit for you and your loved ones. Let’s get clear and practical on this so you can dance yourself into the afterlife without confusion. Despite how clear you may think your belief system is, or that a belief system is unnecessary and bogus, your actual inner discipline and awareness is crucial here. So are your conscious dying street smarts. Remember that you might be old or young, ready or unready, but the when of your departure is usually unknown. So a first aid kit is good self-care for birthing yourself more happily into the next world.

First-Aid Kit for Dying Well on this Side

1.     Live consciously NOW. This includes:

a)     learning to forgive and let go of your baggage

b)     developing compassion for all beings

c)     practicing mental discipline

d)     fostering an inner life, i.e. using contemplation, relaxation, meditation, etc. Look your inner and outer life in the eye. Then go even deeper. Your true nature is marvelous and vast, awaiting your discovery.

2.     Walk with your death. It’s here, just over your shoulder. Turn and say hello often. I’m serious. As you take your evening walk along the river, smile and look over your shoulder and say, “Hi there, my dear Departure. How’s it going?” See what happens inside you.

3.     Focus on what you want to grow. Your inner thoughts and feelings match what you magnetize to yourself here and in your passing. Hone your ability to consciously create more joy, love, grace, empowerment, etc.

4.     Release guilt. Release guilt. Release guilt. Take whatever you are, whatever you’ve done or not done that you hold guilt and shame about, and ask, “What can I learn from this? How can I think about this in a bigger, more soulful way?” Ask for help in  releasing the heaviness you carry and, no matter how flawed you may feel, commit to being a learner on the journey of life. If you grow from this, all is not lost. Release the guilt and step into your worthiness as a child of the Universe. Unresolved guilt draws us back lifetime after lifetime to try to rectify our guilt feelings. So do that now. Then you can come back with a clearer slate.

5.     Get comfortable with altered states. Develop your inner perceptions: inner sight, inner hearing, inner feeling/knowing. Remember you won’t have your physical eyes and ears and body. You will be perceiving with higher senses. Meditation, guided imagery, bodywork, relaxation, dance, yoga, deep prayer, whatever helps you let go of the limited rational, pushy left brain for a while. Drop into your deep feeling nature, your Self!

First Aid Kit For the Other Side

6.     Know how to tell if you are already on the other side. This is important. If you become confused, ask yourself these questions:

• Am I walking through walls?
• Are people not listening to me, no matter how I try to get their attention?
• If I walk by a mirror or reflective surface, is there no reflection of me?
• Am I getting from one place to another as if by flying or by the power of thought?
• Where is my physical body? Can I re-enter it?

(Note: If you can get back into your own body and it feels like it’s truly yours, then you’re an astral traveler and have had an out-of-body experience-OBE. If you almost couldn’t get back in, or didn’t want to get back in but were told you must, and have experienced talking with guides or light/dark entities, you’ve had a near-death-experience-NDE.)

So if you:

a)     Can’t get back into your body

b)     Can’t get people’s attention

c)     Can’t see your reflection in a mirror

d)     Are unhindered by physical matter, or time and space-you have died.

You can then say to yourself, “Oh, now I remember reading about this. These are

      the clues that I am dead to that body and am now in the afterlife, very much alive!”    

      Remember, many folks die not realizing that they have died. They may have known 

      they were going to die, but don’t realize it has happened because they feel the same.

      They hang around here and sometimes get into trouble. You don’t want to be one of

      those folks.

7.     Release your body, and your life. So let’s say you’ve discerned you are dead to this world and have arrived on the other side. If you want to go check on people you love and say goodbye, do so. But remember, you are now done with this chapter. You are okay. Get acquainted with your new world. You will probably find it quite pleasant and familiar.

8.     Focus deeply. Once you have determined that you are on the other side, meditate and use the mantras, prayers and chants that lift your soul. You no longer have a body to help you get grounded so any and all spiritual and mental focusing abilities will help you navigate to higher realms. Wishy-washy focus gives you less options and a more unplanned result.

9.     Simply be with the experience of passing over. Watch sensations, noises and colors if they arise. Keep praying with a gentle grateful heart. The noises and sensations and colors can be your consciousness separating from the body. Don’t attach to any of it. Tibetan Buddhists describe the sensations of dying as sometimes intense. For example, every hair on the head may feel like a tree and you are walking through that forest with the trees falling around you. Some people experience roaring as soul force pulls itself out of the body and the separation process unfolds. Some just move up and out. Let it happen. It’s surprising but you are okay.

10.  Aim high. If you are Buddhist, invoke the Buddha of Infinite Light. If you are Christian, invoke the risen Christ to guide you. If you are a follower of the Kriya Yoga path, invoke Yogananda or Sri Yukteswar or Babaji to lift you to the high astral realms. If you are of another mindset, invoke the highest beings and highest consciousness within your system of understanding to escort you to your afterlife home, such as angels, guides and ascended masters. But let go of it having to happen a certain way or you may trip yourself up. Let heaven show you around.

11.  Be honest. Be willing to see your own karma as it rises and you evaluate your life. The winds of karma blow us. If there are fearful visages, take them as representative of your own fears and love them into calm. Don’t be blown away. Stay neutral and let them go. If there are heavens you long to participate in, let your devotion to the Divine swell, and your beautiful heart open so that love leads you there. Here’s where we really experience the power of our thoughts. And our hearts. Don’t settle. Call for the Love you long for.

12.  Let yourself be taken to a place of reflection on your life. If your life has been tiring or you die from a long illness you will be given a time for rest and recovery. Remember, your body is gone. You are recovering in spirit and it needn’t take long. Here is where you can be as thorough as you like. Learn as much as possible from the life just lived. Ask for your guide to assist you in seeing what you have gained and where you might like to improve yourself.  

13.  Set sail! At some point, you will feel unfettered and complete with the life you have left. Let that happen sooner rather than later. You can still be in contact with loved ones on Earth in a healthy way while being free to experience your unlimited divine nature. You are free to study, to learn, to go to higher dimensions or return to Earth for further growth and service. Or all of the above. Relish the light, the incredible love, the wisdom granted you from your sojourn. You can now KNOW you are a being of Infinite Light.   

· release stress
· eat better
· love more
· find inner peace
· handle a difficult person/situation

Instructor, Marcia Beachy, MS, LPC is a psychotherapist and certified clinical hypnotherapist in practice for 25 years.

Dates: 4 weeks. Mondays. October 19, 26, November 2, 9

Time: 5:30 – 7:15 p.m.

Fee: $115.00

Registration: Pueblo Community College, Community Education Dept. 719-549-6449

Hey Mr. Jim….

Ah-h the face of Jesus. Come in my Dear. So good to see you….

Is this a good time?

Of course, of course!

There is a monastic, painful wonder in which his days are held. The loudspeaker in the hall clamors for nursing staff to come immediately to the dining room. Someone moans across the hall. But this, the farthermost room from the nurse’s station, is a bastion of morphine-driven, slowed-down life, flavored with a precious, fierce love.

We all drop in, self-proclaimed members of the “Barnes and Noble Temple of Heretics.”

Hey Rabbi, we miss you! We need you back at B&N.

He smiles, great effort at strength and conviction.

I’ll be back. I’ll be out in two months, they say. Back home. Goodbye University Park Care Center. And, by the way, today I walked with the walker to the nurse’s station!

All that training in the healing power of mind and spirit. Focus the mind only on what you want. Ask Jesus, your guides, your inner healer, the Holy Spirit. See it. Feel it. Know it. And it IS!

I flip over the coin, peeking underneath. Ah-h…lonely. Years of lonely days piled one on the other. Heaped out back and covered with a tarpaulin. Now adding another layer of goddamn nursing home and medical trauma loneliness. We mostly do not see or name this. We don’t name heartache or longing or grief. But they are alive and well, thank you, orphaned by the “right” way to heal and the need to entertain visitors. I wonder about the orphaning of such deep feelings. I want to say, wait, let’s name and hold them…..

And if it’s not on the no-no list, we might even wander together into the land of sacred dying. You know–that universal back-up plan….

When I see your face, my friend, I wonder about this inner struggle. When I hear what you don’t say, I step softly in among the lily pads. I don’t mind. Loneliness is my familiar, a nemesis and teacher. It’s okay with me, whatever you want. Just so you know, the non-words are talking, I’m listening, and you aren’t alone. The non-word sounds and the great stillness of your Rabbi soul are all a beauty to me.

By Marcia Beachy, January 7, 2009

I am thinking of my own blueberry childhood. I smell my Grandma Eva’s blueberry pies cooling on the window ledge beside the scarlet potted geranium. Perhaps blueberries from a can, but fresh and tasty to me and my grandfather, who insisted on blueberry pie a la mode. About halfway through my pie-baking career, I remembered those Grandma Eva pies and began adding them to my holiday dinner options, feeling the circle come round.

I am thinking of grocery shopping at Safeway yesterday. The organic produce section had–sure enough–more fresh blueberries, each small carton worth its weight in gold. I bought one, of course, wondering if blueberries in April will become my secret baby reminder and a must-have.

I am thinking of Zen teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, who would hold up a blueberry and say something like, “In this blueberry is the whole world. In this blueberry is the soil from which it grew, the sun that shone on the mother plant, the rain that watered it, and the wind that blew through its leaves. In this blueberry are the hopes and dreams of the farmer and his family who grew this berry, and the hopes and dreams of the families who picked and processed it. In this blueberry are the truck drivers and the gas stations that got it to market and the grocery store personnel who put it out on the shelf. In this blueberry is the fascination of a small child picking it up like the first taste of forever.”

Blueberries and grandmothers and kitchens and Zen masters and babies. Old fingers rolling out pie dough. Small fingers gathering up blue magic. In this baby-with-blueberry moment, the whole world comes in out of the cold and quietly finds a place by the fire. Over this treasured weekend with Elias, my daughter and son-in-law, blueberries have become woven into the sweet, fruity fabric of the generations wrapped in the essence of an intent small boy with only one thing on his mind. It looks like eating dinner, but I think it is actually the “Blueberry Meditation for Contented Living.”

In this blueberry is the whole world…..

By Marcia Beachy, April 2009

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Track 1: Full body relaxation (13 minutes)

Track 2: Deepening your well-being with guided imagery and affirmations (14 minutes)

Listen to an excerpt from Track 1 of Journey of Renewal.

Order “Journey of Renewal”:

Price: $15.00 + $2.50 for shipping. Arrives in 7 to 10 business days.

The great heart of humanity is restless around this issue. Faced with increasing numbers of deaths both personally and globally, we need new tools and perspectives. I want you to know how you can help your loved ones who’ve died. I want you to help yourself when it’s your turn. Not only do our hearts need comfort, our minds need information. This material addresses both our hearts and minds. Stepping outside the box of orthodox death teachings requires only a small first step. Then another. As you follow your heart and educate yourself, you will learn that you can affect your own and others’ planetary departure–that you, and they, may depart on the wings of grace. I want you to know that you can, in fact, go out in style.

Taken from the introduction of Marcia Beachy’s upcoming book:  Going Out In Style:  A Guide to Planetary Departure.

Depression is an all too common experience for us, even though we are loathe to admit it. When the blues set in (darker mood, low energy, hopelessness, sleep irregularity, changes in appetite, impatience, angry outbursts, emotional numbness, wanting release from all the pain, etc.), we know we’ve “got it.” For those suffering with more severe episodes, medical intervention may be necessary. For most of us, muddling through with support from family and friends is our choice–or for those determined independent types, muddling through alone.

Continuous depression creates a kind of brain-freeze, a mental blindness to the whole picture of things. The “joy factor” of life eludes us and our perspective becomes increasingly narrow. Since we seem to be created with a high joy and love requisite, ongoing grief, sorrow and depression can feel like the weight of the world. Furthermore, the world we see “out there” seems bleak beyond measure, reflecting our own lack of hope.

Many have found simple, effective tools for coping with depression, or releasing it altogether, which I want to share with you. So whether you are an old warrior or newbie in the dance with depression, here are some natural supports to experiment with on your journey of better mental and emotional health. We will divide them up into what to do and what not to do in order to truly lift life-sapping, depressive patterning.

What NOT to do:

1. Do NOT stay behind closed doors and in darkened rooms. This feeds depression, which you don’t need more of.

2. Do NOT watch violent, angry, hopeless TV programs and movies. Minimize exposure to negative media of all kinds, including video games and music–and the nightly news.

3. Do NOT believe anyone who conveys to you that your situation or diagnosis is irreversible or hopeless. Perhaps they don’t see a way through but that is simply a perspective offered. It is NOT the ultimate truth of you.

4. Do NOT limit your amazing possibilities to heal by believing your symptoms are “only” chemical imbalances or “only” mental/emotional inadequacies on your part. Why not experiment with a gamut of interesting, positive options, some of which may be just the ticket for you?

5. Do NOT get into the guilt/blame/shame game with yourself because you feel depressed. Talk about draining your own energies–guilt will do it!

6. Do NOT continue to be in negative vibe situations, wherever they may occur.

Things you can DO:

1. Check out your thyroid function. Imbalances in the thyroid gland create havoc with mood.

2. Jumpstart the “Joy Factor.” Yes! Give yourself full permission to feel that elusive thing called joy again. What does it for you? Can you recall? How about looking at the blue sky, walking along the river, holding a pet or your favorite baby? Maybe the smell of roses or fresh-baked bread gives you that “Ah-h-h….” Milk it for all it’s worth. This can change your brain chemistry! Even if it’s hard to get started, do it.

3. The Attitude of Gratitude. This goes hand in hand with the Joy Factor. What are you grateful for? The roof over your head? The fresh air in the morning? That you are, in fact, loved, whether you feel it or not? How about those moments of peace, the money you have, or your pet who never forsakes you? Say it. “I am so grateful for_____.” Gratitude opens our hearts. As the heart opens, love begins to flow and love is a wonderful brain-chemical stimulant! Be grateful to yourself as well. What are some of your own qualities that you appreciate?

4. Light & Color Therapy. This is fun and easy. Let the sun shine on your face every day. Tilt your face upward and drink in that light! The pineal gland lies deep in the brain and it is sensitive to light. Some sources say that it is the pituitary gland most affected by light. For our purposes, the following information is what counts. When this gland gets its requirement of light, it puts out “mood upper” hormones like serotonin and melatonin, which keep us light-hearted and in lighter moods. People who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) do better when they give themselves full-spectrum light treatments through the winter months of less sunlight. If you work inside all day, simply make certain that you go outside in the sun at lunchtime or sit in a sunny window regularly.

Color therapy can be simple and effective. What are colors that you enjoy, that you like to wear or be around? If you could breathe in a color that would make your nervous system feel particularly calm and relaxed, what would it be? What about a color that would give you jest and pep? Have fun imagining that color flowing through your body every day. Wear colors that appeal to your senses in a healing way.

5. Nature. We have all had the experience of being uplifted by the fresh air and beauty of nature. We are awed by our Colorado snowcapped peaks in winter, the vastness of the Pacific Ocean at sunset, the marvel of spring wildflowers after the thaw. Through these we somehow sense our “place in the family of things.” (from the poem Wild Geese by Mary Oliver) On a simpler note, your patio garden or backyard flowerbed can gift you with the same sense of connection to the whole–a bigger grace than shopping lists and errands. Scientists tell us that the frequency of the natural world and of our bodies is the same. To return to our innate healthy vibration, we would do well to spend time in undisturbed natural settings. Our innate nature is, well, like nature–beautiful, harmonious, creative and alive.
6. Movement. Depression can leave us feeling immobilized, trapped, helpless, uncreative. To counter these feelings, we can begin to move. Move the body. Get things moving inside and out with your exercise of choice. If you enjoy going to the gym, great. Just remember to also get your feet on the Earth and breathe fresh air. Your body and mood will improve.

Years ago one of my clients told me she had discovered something about movement and mood. She learned that if you move your legs you move depression; if you move your arms, you move anger. Try it and let me know how it works for you.

7. Nutritional Therapy. The brain and the body need high nutrition for optimum functioning. Sugar, caffeine and refined carbs aren’t high nutrition and if that’s your diet, your brain is probably starving! Sugar, alcohol, caffeine and nicotine can be real mood downers in the end. Even though we may use them for relaxation or to increase our energy, the overall effect can be major mood swings. Then we need more and the cycle goes on. So cut back or cease and see how you feel.

When possible choose locally grown, organic, fresh foods. The closer food is to its original form, the better. Nutritional supplements are necessary due to the depletion of our soils and the stress levels we are experiencing. At a basic level, a powerful daily vitamin/mineral is essential, with plenty of calcium and other minerals, plus B Complex. For more refinement of your diet and naturally re-balancing of your brain chemistry, you might want to consult a nutritionist or naturopath. Please refer to the resource people listed at the close of this article for some of my favorite experts.

Becoming a “waterholic” is a simple habit to add to your toolbox. Sometimes all our other cravings are simply the body’s cry for pure water. What feels like hunger may actually be dehydration trying to get your attention. More water, more hydration, more release of toxins. It’s a simple but powerful tool for health.

8. Environmental Factors. Our environment may be such that it negatively affects our sense of well-being and mood. Here are some things to check out:

(a) Electromagnetic/radar/microwave/fluorescent light influences. Our bodies are impacted by the radiation from computers, cell phones, cell towers and other electronics and technology. If you aren’t balancing all that computer time with time outside on the Earth and looking at distant vistas, your body/brain isn’t happy. It’s a good idea to minimize cell phone and iPod use. Putting all that radiation directly into your brain for hours isn’t smart. Fluorescent lighting is not full spectrum lighting and the imbalance can drain our energy. Remember the pineal/pituitary glands we mentioned earlier. You need the sun!

(b) Environmental chemicals and toxins. Are you using chemicals in your work, gardening, farming? These pesticides and herbicides are toxic and over time do affect your health. Also check out the toxic cleaners in your home.

(c) Stressful environments. Is your work and home environment such that it is relatively free of conflict and negative stress? Constant stress without replenishing ourselves can lead to a breakdown of our mental and physical health. Consider these factors as you gauge your environment’s impact on your mood.

9. Mental Disciplines. Our thinking habits water our moods and we grow what we water. Double check yourself. Have you adopted a victim mentality? Have you taken on negative patterns of thinking such as “life sucks” or “you can’t win for losing” or “the world is going down the tubes” or “I’m no good and never will be” or “It hurts too much”, etc.? Negative thinking spirals us into whirlpools of hopelessness. We must honor and learn from those deep feelings of sorrow. However, if complaining or despair has become a habit, then it’s important to re-evaluate.

Before we proceed further, it is important to acknowledge the effect of a world in flux on our psyches. Our sense of well-being is influenced by change, difficulty, and negativity on the interpersonal and planetary levels. We hurt when we see that others are hurting. We hurt when our planet hurts. Depression can be a signal that we are overloaded with undifferentiated pain. It may not all be our own personal “stuff”. We get to step up to another level of discernment and choice. We can pray for the world and its people; we can meditate on peace within and without; but we may need to step back and create some boundaries so that our mental environment supports a better sense of personal well-being.
If we are grieving, we can know that grief is time-limited and is a reminder that we have experienced the gift of love. We can honor those deep feelings of sorrow, loss, and even hopelessness.

Whether grieving or in a deep funk, we eventually can graciously begin shifting our thinking into what it is we truly want and begin to speak as if we have it, even if we don’t, even if we don’t really believe it. We do it anyway. We choose to believe it’s possible to feel better, to feel hope, love and incentive. We can learn to speak with joy about what lightens our hearts. We change our thinking to “It’s all working out”, “I’m learning from this.”

Gregg Braden (Walking Between the Worlds: The Science of Compassion, preface, p. v) speaks eloquently of our powerful mental capacities when he says, “Shifting your body chemistry by shifting your viewpoint is perhaps the single most powerful tool that you have available to you for the remainder of this lifetime……New data now supports the idea that human emotion determines the actual patterning of DNA within the body.” In other words, shifting your viewpoint from hopelessness to believing that–under it all–you and I and this amazing planet are worthy of giving and receiving compassion, is a great mood enhancer.

10. Meaning within Suffering. When we address the idea of meaning, we move into the spiritual aspect of ourselves. This part of us longs to be integrated into daily life and contribute inspiration and deeper understanding to our experiences. You don’t have to be religious to embrace this wise inner self–just be open.

Some of the wisest sages speak of the place of suffering in our development as human beings. Once we have experienced the dark night of the soul, we are permanently changed. We have a choice as to how we integrate that; we can be bitter and resentful, or we can realize we now understand others in similar circumstances. Compassion, grace and fortitude are attributes we discover within ourselves. Our minds and hearts are open to the suffering in the world and we can choose to do our part in relieving suffering. Often this is when we touch the bones of who we are, finding our soul, our true nature rising from the shattered remains of our ego and social persona. In this way, depression can bring us home to a more compassionate self.

Whether you wish to work on your body, your thinking, your environment or spirit, these guidelines can be a starting point in your holistic treatment of depression. All that we do counts. It all matters in the journey of self-healing.

RESOURCES:

Nutritional Support for Depression
1. R. Wayne Davis, Naturopathic Doctor, 1401 N. Elizabeth, Suite C, Pueblo CO 719-248-4873 bewellnaturally@hotmail.com
2. Katherine Duboue’, Licensed Certified Nutritionist, Muscle Testing
4218 Astrozon Blvd., Colorado Springs, CO 719-574-7066 kduboue@msn.com

Trauma/Anxiety Release
1. William Settle, LCSW, LMT, Emotional Release Therapy, 6 Pineridge Ct., Pueblo, CO 719-544-4109 wmjsettle@msn.com
2. John Harder, LCSW, Emotional Release Therapy, 720 N. Main, Suite 335, Pueblo. CO 719-583-1462
3. Jo Ann Wiedman, Peace-Restoring Energy Work, Pueblo, CO 719-647-1443 joawiedman @ yahoo.com

Patrick stepped into my counseling office one day, full of angst. He was struggling with what he called the “death demon.” In the midst of his parent’s separation, moving to a new school, and various other adjustments and losses, Patrick’s friend’s horse died. Patrick had come to love this beautiful mare and cared for her on a regular basis. It was all too much. He told me that there was an angel of good, but the death demon was a really maddening bad guy. Patrick was angry about death.

Actually Patrick was onto something. The death demon, the “demon” created from our collective, highly misguided, fearful misunderstanding of planetary departure, is too much. The “archetype of death”, as I choose to call it, is so laden with terrors and sorrows and heaviness that many are choosing a new road map of pro-active, conscious choice in death-related matters.

Jan Tober speaks of this work as clearing the “death phantom”. This phantom is a collective of experiences and beliefs and agreements about death which we have carried over the span of our souls’ many journeys. It influences how we program our own death. We hold some sort of soul agreement with each lifetime; what we hope to accomplish each time around, and the wheres and whens of our end of life. We are learning that this plan can be changed should we so choose.

ZETTA’S STORY
I recently had the privilege of interviewing an acquaintance on her experience of shattering the death archetype. From our mutual friend, Pascha, I had learned that Zetta Corzett was dying but had experienced some transformative, perhaps transcendent, events. Because of my work in the conscious dying field, I was eager to interview her and hear her story. Zetta was most obliging and so on October 14, 2007, I drove to Boulder, Colorado, where Zetta lived in her quiet, simply furnished apartment. Zetta, 54, has spent many years working as a social worker in hospital chemical dependency and psychiatric units, as well as agency case management. An Illinois native, Zetta left the Midwest for new adventures in Colorado in 2001. I want to share her compelling story with you.

On May 25, 2006, Zetta came face to face with her death phantom. She woke up and ran to the bathroom, vomiting up “a sink full of blood.” Although there were no warning signs, Zetta had known for many years that she suffered from hepatitis C. She was rushed to the hospital in Albuquerque, N.M., where she lived at the time. Before being given a shot of Haldol to stem the bleeding and pain, the doctors asked her if she chose to be resuscitated should she be dying. Always in the past, with various medical procedures, Zetta had declared, “Let me go.” This time as she heard the question, she opened her eyes and saw the worried face of her partner, Jane, gazing at her. In that moment, Zetta knew that she had not finished her work with Jane and changed her answer to, ”Yes, bring me back.” Had Jane not been there, Zetta says that she would have asked to be allowed to die, a likely event since her physicians gave her only a five percent chance of surviving the severe loss of blood and liver damage.

For four days, Zetta remained unconscious in her hospital bed. Although she retains little memory of her experiences during the unconscious state, she adamantly states that she traveled to a spiritual “Council of Seven” in the higher realms. She explained to them that she didn’t want to leave her Earth life yet; she needed time to clear up some things and learn a bit more. When I pressed Zetta for more details of the Council, she described them as immensely wise and evolved. She felt showered with an indescribable, unconditional love. As Zetta reflected on her experience with the Council, her face softened, her voice quieted as she sat with the sacred privacy of that meeting.

In stating her case to the Council, Zetta outlined the matters that still felt uncompleted. One was an awakened desire to learn more about love. The other was the age-old quest: how to be human and experience freedom of spirit. The day that Zetta went before her Council is the day she believes she had contracted to die. It was the original soul agreement, the old map for this life’s completion. In asking for a change of venue, she received approval for a renegotiated contract, adding more time.

Much of this perspective submerged itself in the recesses of her mind as Zetta returned to consciousness and her hospital room. Memory of the Council disappeared. Her predominant sense was that she had 2-3 months left to live and so she set about doing all the practical end-of-life tasks such as power of attorney, updating her will, and giving away her belongings.

As the 2-3 months lengthened into 4-5 months and then a year, Zetta understood that the extra time she was given had less to do with practicalities than with the deepening growth of her soul. She felt memory return of the beautiful Council who had blessed her choice.

As it happened, about one month after leaving the hospital, Zetta and Jane moved from Albuquerque to Boulder to be nearer their support system. They struggled, loved, learned and struggled again. With the weeks expanding into months, Jane became exhausted and overextended, given all the demands of her care-giver role. Eventually they reached a mutual decision to live separately, with Zetta being accepted for affordable housing, Medicaid and hospice care. At this highly vulnerable time, Zetta found herself living alone. Ironically, she was also becoming aware of new ways to receive care and love from a wider support circle.

DISEASE AS A VEHICLE OF WHOLENESS
Though ill and often exhausted, Zetta’s soul-learning was expanding by leaps and bounds. She continues, “In the past, I could always give love. I knew how to be generous and caring. However, I never quite believed that I was lovable, that I could just receive love from all the people who love me. It’s the metaphor of the hand in a bucket of water. If you take your hand out, if you are gone, it has made no difference. That’s how I’d always felt. I had to keep giving to others to make love happen for me. Now, for the first time in my life I have been able to be open and receive and know that I am inherently lovable.”

During her four days of unconsciousness in the Albuquerque hospital, Zetta experienced another level of receiving love. Her intuitive friend, Bonnie, in Colorado Springs, shared her own story. At the time of Zetta’s hospitalization, Bonnie was teaching a healing class. Zetta’s spirit came to her during the class and said, “Tell Jane that I’m coming back. I’m just having a hard time getting back into my body.” Zetta is convinced that the prayers and love of her friends and spiritual family is what she utilized to pull herself back into her body and her life. Had it not been for that outpouring of love, she would not have been able to return to carry out her “mission.”

Though her desire was to return to this life for further learning, Zetta is open about the difficulties in living so intimately with one’s own death. Is it worth the $75 to buy a good pair of walking shoes in October if you might die in November? How do you decide these things?

Some days she is completely exhausted. Other days there is a mysterious level of energy. Several times over the last 16 months she has revisited the door of death. One day she went to her acupuncture appointment and said to her acupuncturist, “It seems like I’m getting ready to leave. I could care less about food, friends, going out. Nothing here has meaning for me.” As he checked her chi, he agreed, for her energy was unusual—different from his patients who were life-filled. Then somewhere within her a shift occurred and she stayed. “One day the sun came out, like spring, and I woke up and felt good, felt energized and positive and I said, ‘Oh shit! Guess I’m not going today!’ I knew that at some level I had made the decision to stay. The problems in the relationship with Jane made it obvious that there were still some things I hadn’t learned.

“There have been a lot of times in my life when I’ve wanted to leave, to die, to get out of spiritual and emotional pain. After the hospitalization I had a long talk with Spirit. I said, ‘I’m tired. Everyone says I should enjoy life. What does it mean to live life if I’m not working, not productive and have a lot of time on my hands?’ I have come to know that I do not want to leave this body because of wanting to escape. I want to die in love, clarity and feeling spiritually complete. The ‘time on my hands’ is my time to deepen and heal.

“Now, I understand that living life is about following my heart on a moment-by-moment basis. Since I’m here, I may as well live until I die. With that realization came a huge relief and I started living out of an inner freedom. I have freed myself from a lot of fear; fear of trying to take care of Jane’s anxiety, fear that I am unlovble, fear of not having control. There is something about the dying process that has given me a unique sense of myself. This whole process that I’ve gone through, by being open and conscious about it, has given me a new freedom and purpose as I share with others.

“My journey is unique also in that I have chosen not to take the medical route. One of my doctors stood over me and shouted that I was a fool to not try Interferon, that it was my last chance. I still chose to say no. My doctors didn’t understand. Some of my friends didn’t either. When it is my time to die, I will. Dying is a viable option. It’s just an option society doesn’t necessarily want to accept. The whole goal is for the ego-brain to surrender. At the level of dying, my ego-self has no control.”

Zetta has had ample opportunity to contemplate the meaning behind contracting hepatitis C, for herself. She feels now, that the disease was born of self-hatred and was a way for her to end her life herself, though she wasn’t aware of it at the time. “I was 23 years old when I shot heroin with a dirty needle. I loathed myself then. When I found out 20 years later that I had contracted this disease, I asked why I had called it to me. They say the liver is the seat of anger. I’ve sat with that. It didn’t make sense to me. I don’t have an angry personality. There is no one I carry anger toward. I couldn’t figure it out. Finally it hit me; it was about my hatred and anger at myself.” By letting the disease show her where she was not yet whole, Zetta is utilizing hepatitis C as a vehicle into psychological and spiritual wholeness.

FURTHER REFLECTIONS
As we continued to chat and reflect, Zetta returned to the lessons she had chosen to grasp more fully: love and freedom within the human experience. After the disease was diagnosed, Zetta left a relationship in Illinois and started anew in Colorado, where she met Jane. The relationship with Jane has been pivotal to her healing. “I believe, for many of us, relationship is how we come to love ourselves. When people would tell me, ‘You can’t love another until you love yourself,’ I couldn’t see how that works. A mother’s love is what reflects its lovableness to a baby. Why wouldn’t that also be true for us as adults? Why wouldn’t the love of an intimate partner help heal our lack of self-love? Until Jane’s love, I never knew that level of love. Jane has loved me for exactly who I am, loved me unconditionally.”

By her and Jane choosing to live separately, another layer of “lovableness” would fall into place for Zetta. The nature of her living situation and her health now required her to be open to support and love from others. “Before, I couldn’t really take in another’s love and so I often felt lonely. Through this process, I have come to know for the first time that I truly am not alone. My heart has opened. I am more willing to be honest and vulnerable with friends. I am allowing people to see the truth of me, not the defenses. I no longer have the overwhelming fear of being unlikable. I know the truth of me. This is really me. This core of who I am is permanent. Now, even if I were to be alone, it wouldn’t matter. My core, my essence, is in place. I have had a fear of living alone, but the longer I live alone, the less alone I feel! It’s freedom. I no longer feel bound! It doesn’t matter where I die, who is with me when I die, or how it looks when I do. My belief is that it’s going to be perfect. In truth, as I look over my life, it has been perfect and my death will be also. It is all about what is best for me, for the people I’m closest to, for the world, and for the Universe as a whole—whatever will bring the greatest healing for all.

“I went through a period of saying goodbye, of feeling the grief of the last book I would read, the last morning I would see, etc. It was very sad for me. Then I started thinking of what it’s like on the other side—the love, the freedom, the continued growth, the continued learning, and more understanding of the spiritual worlds.

“I have a sense of the home planet that I will return to. It’s been thousands of years since I’ve been there. Once during a workshop, I saw the tall, beautiful blue beings from my planet. Long ago, something happened and I left my planet to come here to Earth. I believe I have a core soul family. We work together and act as guides to one another when one of us is on the Earth. I believe I will experience the Divine Connection to a greater extent than I have been able to experience it while on Earth. I think this Connection is multi-dimensional and I know very little about it. However, the part of me that is always in Spirit, is very much at work helping with the Earth changes we are in—the transitions of the Earth.

“The people that I am closest to—I feel and hope that my process will help them in their own passage. By me going through this process as consciously as possible, it may help the journey for all. That would give me joy. There is no right or wrong way to do it. There is just your way to do it. Dying is a very individual path. You are the only one to know your path. You can’t do it anyone else’s way.

“The main thing is, there is really nothing to fear, including death. Our greatest fear has been death. In my life, the focus was all outside of myself, though I worked with getting in touch with myself, with Spirit. Today, I know that who I am is Spirit. Everything I need and desire is available to me. Both love and freedom live in me. I realize now that the things that have happened over the last 16 months are what the Council and I talked about. I feel that I am likely completing my incarnations on Earth. This 16 months has perhaps given me the opportunity to clear my slate. Though difficult, it has all been a great gift.

“Over the past few months, when I’ve thought I was on the verge of dying, I’ve felt joy. Then when death has left me and I’ve stayed, I have come to feel joy as well. It doesn’t really matter now. Both sides have something wonderful to offer.”

BLESSED ARE WE
How did Zetta shatter her death archetype? How has her death demon or phantom been transformed? As she shares her story, it becomes apparent that death has lost its sting for Zetta. She no longer runs from it. It has become her near and dear companion, helping her hone the rest of her life, reminding her to be present to the inherent joy in the present moment. In some sense she is the shaman of her own journey, the one who faces the unknown terrors and returns empowered. It’s scary, but wonder of wonders! There is little if any fear remaining.

Now Zetta knows at the deep cellular level what she “knew” with her rational mind. As she mentioned, she has sought connection with her deeper self throughout her life. Greater realness, authenticity and compassion arrived on her doorstep as she surrendered to her heart and faced her fears and her death head on. Her heart is soft and open. Her words are real and honest. Her fears are no longer snarling tigers at the door but meowing kittens in her lap. The energy previously used to handle fear and push tigers away is available for reflection and fun and friends as she so chooses. Simplicity has become her necessity and her guide. Gone are all but a few possessions. Gone are the insatiable emotional needs that often burden our days.

From Zetta and the many others that are utilizing the near-death experience (NDE) and their own imminent death we learn that:

1. We can change the contract. We can go sooner or leave later with no repercussions, if the highest good is served. There are highly evolved and compassionate beings to help guide us in these decisions.

2. Preparing to die more consciously is also choosing to live more consciously. They are inseparable. By embracing our own death, we embrace the impermanence and preciousness of life.

3. Surrender of the ego-based needs brings great relief and peace.

4. Physical illness can be the vehicle of immense spiritual healing.

5. Death is our Earthly companion. Then it’s gone. LIFE is our eternal companion. We actually never “die.”

6. Clearing our slate and adopting the higher emotional frequencies are great goals for a good death and a free spirit. This work is self-love of the highest order. These higher frequencies include love, forgiveness, trust, peace, fearlessness, generosity, compassion. As Zetta nourishes these qualities and clears the drag of fear, she is fueling an extra rocket boost into the higher frequency functioning for herself, both now and when she slips through the door we call death.

Dethroning the power of the death demon or phantom is not for the timid. Ironically, we seldom know our strength until these opportunities present themselves. Zetta has discovered an inner strength not attached to ego-needs or shored up by emotional armor. Through the very personal and quiet labor of thousands of people like her, the archetype of death is being shattered. And we are dazzled, thus becoming the richly blessed beneficiaries of this sacred work.

At the conclusion of my interview with Zetta (see Part 1 for the interview), I mentioned that if she wanted to further explore her connection with her Council of 7, she might be able to do so through a past life regression (PLR) session. I couldn’t guarantee what we might discover, but if she felt adventurous and strong enough, we could experiment. Two months later, December 14, 2007, Zetta arrived on my doorstep, strong enough to drive alone from Boulder; adventurous enough to risk a PLR in the hope of procuring another meeting with her Council.

In addition to the hoped-for Council meeting and clarifying what her agreements with them were, Zetta’s intention for the PLR was to find help with her lack of enthusiasm for life and her ongoing financial struggles. She was uncertain that she could attain a sufficient level of hypnosis to be effective, mirroring her anxiety of the process. This is not unusual with clients who are experiencing their first PLR, and the vast majority are surprised to discover they are “successful” after all. Zetta did, in fact, return to a past life. She has given permission for this work to be shared, in hopes that it might be helpful to others and so the full session follows.

PLR “Borgan”
Zetta stepped through her door (the metaphor used to enter another lifetime), into another time, land and body. Her voice was soft and hesitant. I have modified the commentary slightly to create a more readable text. All information is an accurate rendition of her words and experience.

Zetta: It is daylight….I see a small village that I am looking at. I have on leather boots, plain pants and a heavy chestplate that goes over my shoulders. I’m a man, a soldier. I feel proud and strong. My skin is dark, like Hispanic skin, dark hair and eyes. I am about 30 years old.

Marcia: Is this your village that you see?

Zetta: Yes. I feel protective of it. I have a sense of joy just standing here looking at it and the people moving about. It is home.

Marcia: Go now into the village, to your home…..

Zetta: The buildings are made of mud with thatched roofs. It is the marketplace. The people are happy, bickering over prices and joking with each other. They know me. The men are in shirts…..I feel that I don’t stay here all the time, but everyone knows me. I travel a lot.  This is my respite place. I am in the army. It is hard living on the go, in tents, never feeling settled, yearning for home. It is hard seeing the battles, seeing men killed, killing many. I serve the King.  All the killing and the lifestyle—I’m so tired of it (begins to cry)…..But I have to help protect the people.

Marcia: Yes, it has been very hard and you want to protect your people…..What do the people call you, what is your name?

Zetta: Borgan.

Marcia: Thank you Borgan…..Tell me the name of the King that you serve. And the year.

Zetta: King Arthur. The year is 1736.

Marcia: Thank you. Tell me now about your friends, men that you serve with.

Zetta: Micah. Micah is a jokster. He has served for a long time. I trust him more than most of the others……Jeran. He is more steady, steadfast and dependable…. L__?___ (This name was hard to hear) who is dark and is a good soldier, but he doesn’t have the heart, the compassion…..

Marcia: Thank you, Borgan.  Now let’s go to the next important time in your life.

Zetta: We are preparing to go into battle again. I am scared.  We are outnumbered.  I draw on my strength and my power…..I don’t want to die in the battle! I’m scared! There is fighting….men are falling around me.
I feel a stab just below my rib cage in the back right side. I fall to my knees…I continue to want to do battle…and finally…just…

Marcia: Yes, it is difficult now as you realize you have reached the end of this life.  Please stay right with your experience as you are aware that you are dying.  What are your thoughts? What are you feeling as you are almost ready to pass?

Zetta: I am thinking of my mother and of my family…Just seeing them and loving them..I feel sadness. There is a little girl, my daughter…It has been a good life because of the relationships that I have had. I fought well. I did my duty…I’m picturing the scene of standing at the doors looking at my village…I’m feeling the joy of being a little boy again…The tip of the spear went through my body into my liver (Remember, in this life, Zetta suffers from hepatitis, a liver disease.)

Marcia: Now Borgan, be aware of taking your last breath and of your spirit leaving your body. Share with me what you are aware of.

Zetta: I’m aware of myself looking down at the battle…I’m floating up and away…Getting lighter…I have chosen to go to a park-like area. It is open with trees, but not like Earth trees, not as solid…I am resting…

Marcia: Let’s begin reflecting on your life, as you are ready.

Zetta: I learned how to suck it up and do it anyway. It was a lot about not doing for myself…Always putting the higher good before myself. I learned that killing doesn’t solve the problem. I don’t know that I knew that then. When I was younger, I was all for the battle, the kill, the righteous anger. But the battles kept happening and none of the problems were changing. In one battle, my best friend was killed—Marone. That changed the way I viewed fighting. I started seeing the senselessness. After that I started losing the lust for the kill. Yet I stayed faithful to my commitment to being a soldier…

Marcia: You learned some valuable things in your life…I wonder what you have learned that you might like to share with Zetta?

Zetta: Don’t make yourself do things that you really don’t want to do. Love is different than loyalty. We think that we have to be loyal to a cause, to our village, to our king. However, with that loyalty comes a price, which is self-sacrifice. Love doesn’t demand that….

Marcia: What does love demand?

Zetta: Love demands being vulnerable, showing feelings, even the tender ones. Love brings joy. Loyalty brings obligation. Let your heart be free.

Marcia: What if the village, or king, or relationship wants you to be loyal anyway?

Zetta: You must find your limit. Find that line. You can have love and loyalty but you must learn to say no. There is a natural loyalty that comes with love and it is not all bad. But commitment that takes your heart and soul is harmful. It pushes you beyond what you know is right to do…It’s harmful…Trust your own wisdom, your inner knowing. Selling your soul doesn’t make the end any easier. (Borgan is keenly aware of this dawning realization. He struggles with the complexities and difficulties of discerning the fine line between loyalty and the need for self-care—or more to the point—soul-care.)

Marcia: So now that Zetta knows about you, how might you stay in contact with her, continue this connection?

Zetta: Whenever she feels the wind, a soft breeze on her cheek, I will be touching her. She may even feel it when she is not outside…

Marcia: Before we move on, I want to check in with both of you now, Zetta and Borgan, and see if you sense anything else that needs to be seen or released from that life.

Zetta: It feels complete.

Marcia: Now we will release the life of Borgan and prepare to go to your Council of 7, Zetta. Begin to be aware of a guide who will come forward and take you to where we need to go.

Zetta: I see an Asian man with big energy…We’ve been together a long time. I am enveloped in his love. He knows me, he knows me deeply. He sees me… (Zetta is deeply touched upon meeting her familiar, loving guide).

Marcia: As you are reconnecting and merging with his love, take some time to ask for any healing you need with your liver, both past and present life healing. Then let us ask if it is now appropriate for him to take you to your Council.

Zetta: He says yes. (Zetta is having some trouble with nausea. With much encouragement and affirmation, we proceed).
I am floating to Light…(This process requires encouragement and coaching…). I am at a building, a big, white, formal marble building. The Council is inside…(Zetta’s voice has been getting quieter and more reverent as we proceed. She is obviously in awe and wonder at the beautiful architecture of this building within its celestial setting. I ask her to enter as she is ready, sharing with me all that she is aware of. She continues.). The Council is sitting in a semi-circle. There are angels behind them and around the room. They appear large and radiant, sparkling and magnificent. Each one is different.

Marcia: Describe each of your Council to me.

Zetta: They have taken on a more human form for me. The one starting on the left is an elderly gentleman. The second is also male……There is a feeling that they aren’t human, the human form becomes translucent…The third is female, fourth male, fifth female, sixth male, seventh female……There is a different feeling to the feminine than the masculine. There is a lot of love…..

Marcia: Thank you Zetta. Take a moment and describe the angels that you are seeing.

Zetta: One on my left is more masculine. He wears a maroon robe that goes over his shoulder with a gold band, shoulder to waist, very elegant. He is very present and with me a lot of the time. He guides me and is teaching me about letting go of judgement.

There is another one on the right end of the Council, a female, beautiful and glorious. She has been helping me a lot with the dying process. We have been pretty clear with each other through this process. She knows and I know.
I am getting ready to face the Council. I’m standing in the middle. The ones on the end are in my peripheral vision. I am very honored to be here (Zetta is crying).

Marcia: Letting yourself receive all the information that comes to you, all the love and energy from these beings.  Sharing with me as you can……

Zetta: (In hushed and reverent tones) I want to thank them for their Presence and for allowing me to come…I feel that I have been told so much over this past year about this journey…I want to ask what was agreed on and what else needs to be done with this life I have been given…I feel very humble in making this request…
(Zetta’s tone changes)….Spirit is now speaking…..”When you came last time it wasn’t completely decided you would die. It was your chosen date. You asked for more time and we granted it. It was clear when you came to us that you still had a lot of unanswered questions and turmoil. You didn’t understand what death meant. Because of this confusion, we granted you longer life to learn how to be free within the limitations of the human body…..You have done well…. You have learned much since that day you came to us. You have the freedom to make your life whatever you want it to be.”

…I am asking if we made any financial agreements regarding my continued life. I tell them that it is difficult when you have to worry about having enough groceries, when you don’t see where the money can come from… “Zetta, we have given you many signs that you have been taken care of, that abundance is yours. We know it is not coming as you want. But it is coming from what you need. Open your heart. Abundance can come from any direction, from sources unknown to you. The only suffering you will experience is that which will help you open your eyes to your patterns. For the most part your life is complete. You have done a good job! Your karmic connections are complete. The end of your life is now your choice.

We see that you are not happy, except for moments in this life—and that is the belief in suffering that you have carried throughout lifetimes. You needn’t suffer anymore. There is no price you can pay for the abundance we offer you. We know that you still desire to die, to leave the world. There will come a day when you will know in your heart when it is the right day to let go. In the meantime, continue to do what you always do: explore the issues that rise and find healing. You do that so well. You are so courageous.”

…I am asking my Council if there is anything else that I need to be doing with my life while I am here…

“We know it is hard for you to experience joy and fun and laughter, but that is all you need to do; allow yourself to open and see the humorous all around you, the delight that is in everything, the joy that is abundant is all for you! There is nothing specific that you need to do. You can’t earn your way to the other side……”

(With that profound statement, there is a pause. The session is almost over and both of us are tiring. So I ask if I may address the Council and Zetta conveys that they are most open. I then ask a question regarding this work and how I may be more effective. The Council of 7 responds in a most supportive manner and with details that Zetta could not know. I am profoundly touched, needing to gather my emotions together in order to complete our time together. I convey my deep gratefulness, as does Zetta. We briefly check in to see if we are complete. Zetta, with great quietness, says she is complete and we close the session.)