Marcia Beachy, MS, LPC, CCHT

Posts Tagged ‘heart-centered therapy’

Despite what appears in the daily news, tenderness is unfurling itself upon the landscape.

On my answering machine is a sweet message that I have saved since Thanksgiving, 2010. The message goes something like this.

“Hi Gwamah…” It’s the soft drawl of Elias, my then two and a-half-year-old grandson.

“Hi Grandma,” repeats Elizabeth, my daughter, in her beautiful, clear voice. “We hope you’ve had a very happy Thanksgiving. We miss you.”

Long pause… “I wuv you!” His newfound small voice bursts through the phone lines right into my heart. I’m surprised and delighted that he knows this magic phrase.

“We love you…” Elizabeth’s voice is filled with gentleness and the joy of her small fry finding some mastery with the language.

Another pause.

“We wuv you!”

“Bye-bye, Grandma.”

“Bye-bye, Gwamah-h-h,” his soft, sing-songy little-boy voice drifts off. Click.

Why have I saved this message for all these months? Love is contagious, and I do adore that little one and his mother. But it’s more specific for me. Each time I hear that gentle, innocent voice, my eyes well-up with tears. My chest hurts. Tenderness. Its soothing balm chases all pessimism out the door in a 15 second message. I’ve noticed that our inner cynic and skeptic bow before the power of tenderness. Our faces crinkle up, our eyes moisten while we look away or reach for tissues. We put our hands on our hearts. We might be stoic for a bit, but then the flood of emotion renders us helpless in its wake, or at the very least, softened.

My son-in-law, Jim, cries at weddings. Big cries. He’s a legend in his own time. He can’t explain it. He simply is overcome with tenderness at the remarkable nature of love and the wedding ritual. We smile. Sometimes we join him. We appreciate the greatness of his heart shining through.

Years ago I had the privilege of counseling a young minister. One day he mentioned that he hardly ever cried and he wondered about that. “Whatdoes make you cry,” I asked. He thought for a moment and then told me there were two things, the first I’ve since forgotten. The other was tenderness. “Tenderness makes me cry,” he sighed. It didn’t matter if it was a happy event or a sad one; the important thing was the aliveness, the realness he experienced with tenderheartedness.

It’s the way I choose lasting friendships—the tenderness odometer. It’s the way my smart inner child judges the terrain. It’s the way soulfulness shines through at unexpected times and everyone drops their walls.  I am awed by the way our innate vulnerability and tenderness sneak up on us and crash through our veneers. Tenderness is the place we all share. I like that shared region. I champion it.

When a client enters this delicate area of their psyche, I’m there holding open the door for deeper viewing. When bravado falls to the floor and the tears come, this lovely room in the heart sparkles. Social masks fall away. A more authentic self finds room to grow. And if folks are receptive to the gift, a soft compassion welcomes them home again.

We are in tender times. Sensitivities are heightened. Despair and uncertainty can cloud—or ignite—our vulnerable places. So remember, when tears threaten your composure, you aren’t alone. You might be just about to offer your tears to the great heart we share. You might be just about to melt into the cosmic bosom that not only comforts, but sends you forth again as a more whole and courageous explorer. Or perhaps, somewhere or somehow, if you are very quiet, you will hear a soft little voice reminding you that you are loved. You can’t beat that.

Depression is an all too common experience for us, even though we are loathe to admit it. When the blues set in (darker mood, low energy, hopelessness, sleep irregularity, changes in appetite, impatience, angry outbursts, emotional numbness, wanting release from all the pain, etc.), we know we’ve “got it.” For those suffering with more severe episodes, medical intervention may be necessary. For most of us, muddling through with support from family and friends is our choice–or for those determined independent types, muddling through alone.

Continuous depression creates a kind of brain-freeze, a mental blindness to the whole picture of things. The “joy factor” of life eludes us and our perspective becomes increasingly narrow. Since we seem to be created with a high joy and love requisite, ongoing grief, sorrow and depression can feel like the weight of the world. Furthermore, the world we see “out there” seems bleak beyond measure, reflecting our own lack of hope.

Many have found simple, effective tools for coping with depression, or releasing it altogether, which I want to share with you. So whether you are an old warrior or newbie in the dance with depression, here are some natural supports to experiment with on your journey of better mental and emotional health. We will divide them up into what to do and what not to do in order to truly lift life-sapping, depressive patterning.

What NOT to do:

1. Do NOT stay behind closed doors and in darkened rooms. This feeds depression, which you don’t need more of.

2. Do NOT watch violent, angry, hopeless TV programs and movies. Minimize exposure to negative media of all kinds, including video games and music–and the nightly news.

3. Do NOT believe anyone who conveys to you that your situation or diagnosis is irreversible or hopeless. Perhaps they don’t see a way through but that is simply a perspective offered. It is NOT the ultimate truth of you.

4. Do NOT limit your amazing possibilities to heal by believing your symptoms are “only” chemical imbalances or “only” mental/emotional inadequacies on your part. Why not experiment with a gamut of interesting, positive options, some of which may be just the ticket for you?

5. Do NOT get into the guilt/blame/shame game with yourself because you feel depressed. Talk about draining your own energies–guilt will do it!

6. Do NOT continue to be in negative vibe situations, wherever they may occur.

Things you can DO:

1. Check out your thyroid function. Imbalances in the thyroid gland create havoc with mood.

2. Jumpstart the “Joy Factor.” Yes! Give yourself full permission to feel that elusive thing called joy again. What does it for you? Can you recall? How about looking at the blue sky, walking along the river, holding a pet or your favorite baby? Maybe the smell of roses or fresh-baked bread gives you that “Ah-h-h….” Milk it for all it’s worth. This can change your brain chemistry! Even if it’s hard to get started, do it.

3. The Attitude of Gratitude. This goes hand in hand with the Joy Factor. What are you grateful for? The roof over your head? The fresh air in the morning? That you are, in fact, loved, whether you feel it or not? How about those moments of peace, the money you have, or your pet who never forsakes you? Say it. “I am so grateful for_____.” Gratitude opens our hearts. As the heart opens, love begins to flow and love is a wonderful brain-chemical stimulant! Be grateful to yourself as well. What are some of your own qualities that you appreciate?

4. Light & Color Therapy. This is fun and easy. Let the sun shine on your face every day. Tilt your face upward and drink in that light! The pineal gland lies deep in the brain and it is sensitive to light. Some sources say that it is the pituitary gland most affected by light. For our purposes, the following information is what counts. When this gland gets its requirement of light, it puts out “mood upper” hormones like serotonin and melatonin, which keep us light-hearted and in lighter moods. People who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) do better when they give themselves full-spectrum light treatments through the winter months of less sunlight. If you work inside all day, simply make certain that you go outside in the sun at lunchtime or sit in a sunny window regularly.

Color therapy can be simple and effective. What are colors that you enjoy, that you like to wear or be around? If you could breathe in a color that would make your nervous system feel particularly calm and relaxed, what would it be? What about a color that would give you jest and pep? Have fun imagining that color flowing through your body every day. Wear colors that appeal to your senses in a healing way.

5. Nature. We have all had the experience of being uplifted by the fresh air and beauty of nature. We are awed by our Colorado snowcapped peaks in winter, the vastness of the Pacific Ocean at sunset, the marvel of spring wildflowers after the thaw. Through these we somehow sense our “place in the family of things.” (from the poem Wild Geese by Mary Oliver) On a simpler note, your patio garden or backyard flowerbed can gift you with the same sense of connection to the whole–a bigger grace than shopping lists and errands. Scientists tell us that the frequency of the natural world and of our bodies is the same. To return to our innate healthy vibration, we would do well to spend time in undisturbed natural settings. Our innate nature is, well, like nature–beautiful, harmonious, creative and alive.
6. Movement. Depression can leave us feeling immobilized, trapped, helpless, uncreative. To counter these feelings, we can begin to move. Move the body. Get things moving inside and out with your exercise of choice. If you enjoy going to the gym, great. Just remember to also get your feet on the Earth and breathe fresh air. Your body and mood will improve.

Years ago one of my clients told me she had discovered something about movement and mood. She learned that if you move your legs you move depression; if you move your arms, you move anger. Try it and let me know how it works for you.

7. Nutritional Therapy. The brain and the body need high nutrition for optimum functioning. Sugar, caffeine and refined carbs aren’t high nutrition and if that’s your diet, your brain is probably starving! Sugar, alcohol, caffeine and nicotine can be real mood downers in the end. Even though we may use them for relaxation or to increase our energy, the overall effect can be major mood swings. Then we need more and the cycle goes on. So cut back or cease and see how you feel.

When possible choose locally grown, organic, fresh foods. The closer food is to its original form, the better. Nutritional supplements are necessary due to the depletion of our soils and the stress levels we are experiencing. At a basic level, a powerful daily vitamin/mineral is essential, with plenty of calcium and other minerals, plus B Complex. For more refinement of your diet and naturally re-balancing of your brain chemistry, you might want to consult a nutritionist or naturopath. Please refer to the resource people listed at the close of this article for some of my favorite experts.

Becoming a “waterholic” is a simple habit to add to your toolbox. Sometimes all our other cravings are simply the body’s cry for pure water. What feels like hunger may actually be dehydration trying to get your attention. More water, more hydration, more release of toxins. It’s a simple but powerful tool for health.

8. Environmental Factors. Our environment may be such that it negatively affects our sense of well-being and mood. Here are some things to check out:

(a) Electromagnetic/radar/microwave/fluorescent light influences. Our bodies are impacted by the radiation from computers, cell phones, cell towers and other electronics and technology. If you aren’t balancing all that computer time with time outside on the Earth and looking at distant vistas, your body/brain isn’t happy. It’s a good idea to minimize cell phone and iPod use. Putting all that radiation directly into your brain for hours isn’t smart. Fluorescent lighting is not full spectrum lighting and the imbalance can drain our energy. Remember the pineal/pituitary glands we mentioned earlier. You need the sun!

(b) Environmental chemicals and toxins. Are you using chemicals in your work, gardening, farming? These pesticides and herbicides are toxic and over time do affect your health. Also check out the toxic cleaners in your home.

(c) Stressful environments. Is your work and home environment such that it is relatively free of conflict and negative stress? Constant stress without replenishing ourselves can lead to a breakdown of our mental and physical health. Consider these factors as you gauge your environment’s impact on your mood.

9. Mental Disciplines. Our thinking habits water our moods and we grow what we water. Double check yourself. Have you adopted a victim mentality? Have you taken on negative patterns of thinking such as “life sucks” or “you can’t win for losing” or “the world is going down the tubes” or “I’m no good and never will be” or “It hurts too much”, etc.? Negative thinking spirals us into whirlpools of hopelessness. We must honor and learn from those deep feelings of sorrow. However, if complaining or despair has become a habit, then it’s important to re-evaluate.

Before we proceed further, it is important to acknowledge the effect of a world in flux on our psyches. Our sense of well-being is influenced by change, difficulty, and negativity on the interpersonal and planetary levels. We hurt when we see that others are hurting. We hurt when our planet hurts. Depression can be a signal that we are overloaded with undifferentiated pain. It may not all be our own personal “stuff”. We get to step up to another level of discernment and choice. We can pray for the world and its people; we can meditate on peace within and without; but we may need to step back and create some boundaries so that our mental environment supports a better sense of personal well-being.
If we are grieving, we can know that grief is time-limited and is a reminder that we have experienced the gift of love. We can honor those deep feelings of sorrow, loss, and even hopelessness.

Whether grieving or in a deep funk, we eventually can graciously begin shifting our thinking into what it is we truly want and begin to speak as if we have it, even if we don’t, even if we don’t really believe it. We do it anyway. We choose to believe it’s possible to feel better, to feel hope, love and incentive. We can learn to speak with joy about what lightens our hearts. We change our thinking to “It’s all working out”, “I’m learning from this.”

Gregg Braden (Walking Between the Worlds: The Science of Compassion, preface, p. v) speaks eloquently of our powerful mental capacities when he says, “Shifting your body chemistry by shifting your viewpoint is perhaps the single most powerful tool that you have available to you for the remainder of this lifetime……New data now supports the idea that human emotion determines the actual patterning of DNA within the body.” In other words, shifting your viewpoint from hopelessness to believing that–under it all–you and I and this amazing planet are worthy of giving and receiving compassion, is a great mood enhancer.

10. Meaning within Suffering. When we address the idea of meaning, we move into the spiritual aspect of ourselves. This part of us longs to be integrated into daily life and contribute inspiration and deeper understanding to our experiences. You don’t have to be religious to embrace this wise inner self–just be open.

Some of the wisest sages speak of the place of suffering in our development as human beings. Once we have experienced the dark night of the soul, we are permanently changed. We have a choice as to how we integrate that; we can be bitter and resentful, or we can realize we now understand others in similar circumstances. Compassion, grace and fortitude are attributes we discover within ourselves. Our minds and hearts are open to the suffering in the world and we can choose to do our part in relieving suffering. Often this is when we touch the bones of who we are, finding our soul, our true nature rising from the shattered remains of our ego and social persona. In this way, depression can bring us home to a more compassionate self.

Whether you wish to work on your body, your thinking, your environment or spirit, these guidelines can be a starting point in your holistic treatment of depression. All that we do counts. It all matters in the journey of self-healing.

RESOURCES:

Nutritional Support for Depression
1. R. Wayne Davis, Naturopathic Doctor, 1401 N. Elizabeth, Suite C, Pueblo CO 719-248-4873 bewellnaturally@hotmail.com
2. Katherine Duboue’, Licensed Certified Nutritionist, Muscle Testing
4218 Astrozon Blvd., Colorado Springs, CO 719-574-7066 kduboue@msn.com

Trauma/Anxiety Release
1. William Settle, LCSW, LMT, Emotional Release Therapy, 6 Pineridge Ct., Pueblo, CO 719-544-4109 wmjsettle@msn.com
2. John Harder, LCSW, Emotional Release Therapy, 720 N. Main, Suite 335, Pueblo. CO 719-583-1462
3. Jo Ann Wiedman, Peace-Restoring Energy Work, Pueblo, CO 719-647-1443 joawiedman @ yahoo.com

Conscious dying arrived on my doorstep in the mid- 1990s. During a past life regression session from around 2000 BC, a client reported having difficulty after she died. Her difficulty showed up as confusion, feeling lost, and being among other souls who had died and were suffering in some fashion. She reported that it was hard to find her way through the “murky place” but with effort, she joyfully found her way into the Light.

This was the beginning of my exploration into the concept of conscious dying.  As we are growing the field of consciousness, we are not surprised that conscious dying is intimately connected to conscious living. The more we understand ourselves, deepen compassion and chart a course of being alive and aware, the greater is our clarity through the dying process and the journey after leaving the physical Earth. We are better prepared as to what to do and where to go after we depart this life.

That “murky place” is alive and well in our time, filled with souls who have been overwhelmed with difficulties, trauma and addictions during life. They can still find themselves in the throes of those mindsets after death. Education is a key for us here. To that end I have continued to explore what happens after we die and the various teachings from spiritual traditions around the world, as well as the many reported near-death experiences.

Some teachers say that nine out of ten people who die have a good death. Those are pretty good odds but obviously there is a great need for improvement. Not only do we want good deaths, we want conscious deaths. We want to have higher and higher levels of consciousness so that we can move into higher frequencies of experience in the afterlife worlds. We have the option then of moving off the karma wheel entirely and being at choice as to whether or not we return to Earth.

To further my own education on conscious living and dying, and with the hope that it serve as assistance for others, I have been putting together this material in my upcoming book, Going Out In Style: A Guide to Planetary Departure.

Regression therapy can be a beautiful complement to talk therapies and counseling, or you may find you simply want to experience and uncover something more held in your memory bank without doing counseling. I recommend a follow-up session after regression work to support you in integrating and understanding what you have received. Most people find these therapies very effective. There are two styles of therapy I offer for regression work:

1.       Heart-Centered Hypno-Behavioral Therapy

This hypnosis technique is particularly suited to age regression in the present life. It enables you to follow the affect or feeling bridge back to original fears, anxieties and traumas in a safe, powerful and gentle fashion. Then the fear is recognized and replaced with hope and love as you integrate it into your conscious mind. This therapy is helpful with childhood abuses, blocked memories, addictions, and anxieties.

I received my hypnosis training from the Wellness Institute of Issaquah, WA with Diane Zimberoff, M.A., and David Hartman, M.S.W. I am a member of the Heart-Centered Therapies Association and have been practicing Hypno-Behavioral Therapy since 1993.

2.       Past Life Regression Therapy
This therapy, using either an affect bridge or hypnosis, is helpful for connecting to a sense of your soul’s journey through exploring other lives you have experienced. It is an avenue for self-discovery and for release of traumas and fears that are impacting your present life. It is a window to the soul through the higher perspective achieved, often through the afterlife experience of the past life character. In the afterlife, healing and forgiveness are often available as well as a connection to guides. I would describe this therapy as not only informational, but transformational.

I received training in PLR therapy with Dolores Cannon (author of  The Convoluted Universe series, et.al.),  Roger Woolger, Ph.D. (author of Other Lives, Other Selves) and others. I have received training in life-between-lives work with students of Michael Newton, Ph.D. (author of Journey of Souls, Destiny of Souls and Life Between Lives), and I have been practicing past life regression work since 1996.

Note: If you are interested in knowing more about my work in PLR therapy, you can follow three of my PLR clients in their amazing journeys through time through my book This Divine Classroom: Earth School and the Psychology of the Soul.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

The counseling and psychotherapy style I offer allows us to sit together, without judgment, and decipher the uncomfortable symptoms in your life. These symptoms may be showing up as relationship issues, abuse, depression, pain, grief, confusion, stress, or anxiety. They may be showing up as an internal push, a longing, or a new creative joy.

Through the use of active listening, humor, insight, guided imagery or various other techniques, we explore what is unfolding for you. By better understanding your challenges you change how you view them. Self-acceptance and ease often result and you free yourself from old patterns and limitations. I will take you as fast as you want to go.

Our lives reflect what is ready to be addressed. Our bodies often mirror it. The waves of learning and growth available to us are now rising higher than we can imagine and at times we can feel overwhelmed.  We include the unconscious mind because it will often sabotage our work if we don’t. That is why I listen closely, work with your dreams, and use guided imagery to explore the feelings rising in your body. These can be clues to the wisdom opening within you.

My counseling practice focuses primarily on adults, and I offer both individual and couple counseling.

Marcia Beachy, MS, LPC, CCHT, is a licensed psychotherapist, specializing in holistic, heart-centered therapies. Since 1984 she has committed herself to deepening consciousness and helping clients uncover their true nature. She works with adult clients both in individual and couple counseling and resides in Pueblo, Colorado.

Marcia’s experience and training:

• 25 years in clinical and private practice
• Master of Science in Counseling from Northern Illinois University, 1984
• Licensed Professional Counselor, State of Colorado
• Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with Wellness Institute, Issaquah, WA
• Training in Guided Imagery, Yoga, Bodywork and Energy Work
• Specialist in Past Life Regression
• Specialist in Conscious Living and Dying
• Community College Instructor (Psychology, Self-Hypnosis, Stress management, Meditation, etc.)
• Author: This Divine Classroom: Earth School and the Psychology of the Soul
• Author: Going Out in Style: A Guide to Planetary Departure
• Member of IARRT (International Association for Research and Regression Therapies)
• Member Heart-Centered Therapies Association
• Past President of the Board, Center for Grief and Loss, Pueblo, Colorado
• Past President of the Board of The Healing Alliance, Maui, Hawaii
• Past Program Director, Sunburst Holistic Life Center, DeKalb, Illinois